nights in white

Last night I executed the only plans with a friend I can remember making in the past six months or so (too shy/lazy to initiate actual plans with anyone now; this responsibility needs to be taken over for me).  Went to a strange bar in Omaha that's just like every other bar you've ever been to to see Alexis's Adam play in his first show (he did very nicely).  I didn't get very drunk but I got pretty drunk as the evening began its close with me doing pornographic doodles for Alexis and the bartender on the back of keno cards.  Then Alexis and John and I played Bejeweled on my iPhone in a booth while two indistinguishable screamy rock bands did their thing, and then I drew animals for John (dog, cat, horse, bunny, elephant, tiger) and broke a lot of crayons because I was scribbling so furiously in my drunkenness.  

So, I had a pretty good time as far as "going out to bars" goes.  I really usually don't enjoy going to bars at all because I don't see the fun in it, unless you're into cruising drunkenly for attention or sex or whatever.  I like to be able to talk to the people I'm with without screaming and gesturing; it is unbecoming.  I like to have activities I can do while I'm drunk, so I don't get bored.  I don't like being hit on or groped by creepies (even though if they stopped I'd probably feel sad and unattractive since creepies are the only people who ever hit on me).  

Driving home from Omaha there was a soft, persistent fog and every distant industrial building was lit up in a way that made me feel vibrations and whispers from dimensions where the architecture is full of contrast, color and shadow.  I imagined myself walking on a rocky ground among the buildings, knowing that for each one I entered I'd be greeted in an eternal sunny landscape as a long-lost princess, but it was all a fancy and I don't think I have near the mental concentration to make such magical lands appear in such terrestrial sites.  

I don't have to work today.  It's a miracle.   I don't know what I want to do but it involves eating, possibly chinese food.  

I've stopped thinking about getting tattooed (aka "the summer goal"), mostly because all the money I'd saved for it was lent out, but the idea is still lurking there sadly, sadly.  

What else is new.

I need to make coffee.