getting out

Yesterday the landlord went through and put evil yellow flyers in everybody's door; they state that management has been recently aware of pets in the building and to either get rid of them immediately or risk eviction and being forced to pay for carpet replacement.  

So.

We don't know if they've seen/heard our cats or caught somebody else with a dog visiting (which happens pretty frequently, we hear them in the hallway) or if somebody told on us/them or what.  If they are after us, I don't know if they'll pursue further action.  We've had the cats here illegally since April 2007 without incident, so I guess we'd kind of let our guard down.  

All I know is: 

Fuck you, I'm sorry I didn't mean that, I mean it was in the lease I signed and I'm sorry, but I'm not giving up my cats I need them.  

I may have to move soon: Either we choose to break the lease (up in Dec.) and leave on our own, or they catch us with cats and evict us.  

OR

Nothing will happen and we'll move out in December to a cat-friendly place.

Right now I'm sitting tight, laying low, etc., kind of frozen without knowing what to do.  We'll probably stay and see if they confront us or anything.  

It sucks when your home of almost two years starts to feel like some sort of corporate jail.  I would be sad and not-sad to leave this place; I've actually been feeling like it's got a lot of bad energy built up and I would love a change of scenery (and a separate room, our loft layout means this place is just one big room).  I would miss terribly: the gulls and geese, the sliver of

the lake we can see from our balcony, the little area behind our building that floods when it rains, the neighbors who mind their own business, the high loft ceiling, the red wall, the one & a half bathrooms...

I've come to know myself as someone who gets comfortable and doesn't prefer change once I'm there, and I've got enough comfort left here to make me uneasy about it.  At the same time though, moving, especially to a nice place that's maybe not part of a complex, would be

 refreshing.  

Lately everything feels like I'm at the Mad Hatter's Tea Party, and every few hours or days somebody screams "CHAAANGE PLACES!" and I have to gather myself and rush into the next

 identity, struggling to make it fit before it's time to jostle and change again.