Tuesday, September 30, 2008


It's been more difficult than usual for me to function these past few days; I've been trying to chalk it up to a myriad of different factors, but I've realized slowly that I am actually sick.  The sore throat was the only disabling symptom and I wanted to leave it at that, but the feeling really tired and generally blah is now making sense.  
I was just about to write how I feel like I'm in a state of flux again, but then I tried to think back to a time when I didn't feel this way, and I can't.  It might be the nature of the mood, or maybe being a maturing creature of comfort means that I'll never feel settled.  If you were to chart a calendar of my mental life it would just be a long line studded with a series of goals, as minute as "have a drink here in a little bit" and as large as "graduate," tangible as a beverage and intangible as the final goal, The Big One, at the end of the line.  At each of these points I am altered slightly; offered choices.  They are important because they are things I want to do, or, rather, things set in motion by me.  In between these points on the line are all of the unforseens and obstacles, the things I have to react to as opposed to an action.  The points are the things that make me feel good, and the inbetweens shake me up, though they are necessary.  Feeling in-between all the time might really be a lack of important goals.  I need to think about this more.
If you just read all that I'm sorry, here's a picture of Hitler-chan for your trouble.

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