Oop.

Got a little ahead of myself, thinking maybe I was cool, maybe I could change.

Am not can not.

Be decent and good and shrivel with boredom.

Be awful and odd and hate yourself.

Make them love you, but maybe not the right ones, not in the right ways.

He's gone for a week and I'm throwing up again.

Bizarre throat-masturbation, feels so good, animal rush, then you stand up sweaty and are alone.

((( )))

There's drama here, will it be here later, can I be her later, can I eat there later, there are her terrible dramas, later there, her lasting loss.