paranoias

Pretty soon most of my clothes are going to be my little sister's hand-me-downs.  Ups?  The rest of my clothes will be stuff I've had since high school.  I have seen the future, and it is piecemeal fashion.

I've felt "safe" most of my life, you know, just a general feeling that I'm not going to be killed at any moment, things may be shitty but I'm not in mortal peril, etc.  But lately I've got this creeping feeling of "not safe."  I know I'm not going to get stabbed and raped or anything, but thinking  to go to bars gives me ill feelings because I don't want to deal with dudes trying awkwardly to be suave with me, or yelling stuff at me, or looking hard at me.  I know I'm not special.  I just don't want to deal with it.  I want to be able to take a walk by myself in the evening in Lincoln and not have like three separate incidences of creepers either saying shit to me from their porch or following me in their cars.  I have seen the future, and I will be complaining about the opposite thing when I'm old and a cat lady.  

   

Thinking about "Politics" lately pert near gives me panic attacks.  I will not feel safe with those people in office.  I do not feel safe now.  There is no money, there is only the idea of money, there is negative ideas of money.  There are the wealthy and the elite and there is me, and I don't feel safe.  I have seen the future, the creeping toxic mold.  I do not feel safe.