ay me

Today is the three-year anniversary with the boy, and there is not even money for food beyond the eggs in the fridge.  Material celebration isn't necessary, I guess, but I do love an excuse to eat and drink with abandon.

For instance, I cannot remember the last time I was involved with chinese food.

I have cemented myself to someone who is unwise with money, which makes my life a kind of all-or-nothing situation.  It has been "nothing" for the past seven months, but I don't know if I was even happier with "all," or which is preferable.  It's been so long now that I can't remember if "all" made me feel like exploding less.

What is Adult ADD like?  Is it like when you're trying to take a logic quiz and instead of being able to focus on the little symbols and capital letters, the cigarette machine from the country club of your childhood hovers in your mind, all gold and clear crystal-cut plastic knobs, like something rich and fabulous and full of mystery from Wonka or Whangdoodles, and is that why I was always secretly a smoker inside, or did I become one and forget the transformation?  

Would I have this difficulty concentrating all the time if I actually had things that were necessary to concentrate upon?