summum bonum

 and so and so what

that one foot will always be

planted where nobody can see.

i want to tell you a story             about

the first time tom robbins did acid,

about this book i read where there's a lion made of flame

who bounds over desert sand and each dune is a different color,

or about how things are                 complicated,

and enduringly ambiguous,

i am at once so many ticks on a spectral lattice

my genes maybe too distilled from that inborn unrest

up the branches on both sides of the tree,

i worry i might
i might be "actually crazy"
am ecstatically lucid
need to be better
i am not my father
my poetry sucks
and is whiny
i'm cruel
nothing hurts
i am brr serk
the kindest
i am like 1/4 gay
is it okay to say
that i am so good
i can do every
thing feels too much
i am rapturous
furious god
it hurts do you
like me i
want to hide

all of this radiates

from my animus in widening deep-throb circles

like elephants calling to each other across miles

in tones too low to hear, like

the earth itself is sighing