and so and so what
that one foot will always be
planted where nobody can see.
i want to tell you a story about
the first time tom robbins did acid,
about this book i read where there's a lion made of flame
who bounds over desert sand and each dune is a different color,
or about how things are complicated,
and enduringly ambiguous,
i am at once so many ticks on a spectral lattice
my genes maybe too distilled from that inborn unrest
up the branches on both sides of the tree,
i worry i might
i might be "actually crazy"
am ecstatically lucid
need to be better
i am not my father
my poetry sucks
and is whiny
i'm cruel
nothing hurts
i am brr serk
the kindest
i am like 1/4 gay
is it okay to say
that i am so good
i can do every
thing feels too much
i am rapturous
furious god
it hurts do you
like me i
want to hide
all of this radiates
from my animus in widening deep-throb circles
like elephants calling to each other across miles
in tones too low to hear, like
the earth itself is sighing
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4 comments:
i feel self-conscious about this poem but i think i just feel like this when i talk about being gay even a little in non-cryptic ways.
so i'm leaving it/will rework these thoughts sometime.
thanks for listening, me.
nope still hate this poem
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