Monday, April 27, 2009


This morning I woke up at 6:30 and was unable to
A) Go back to sleep.
B) Properly self-assess.

It was one of those awful twilighty hours where you're stuck in uneasy consciousness.  Your apartment is cold and your knees hurt, why do they hurt so bad, was it a childhood and adolescence of soccer, is there permanent old-person damage to the cartilage.  
Uninvited, social scenes from the past few days begin playing in your head.  In each of these scenes, your retrospective self is completely unlikeable.  She is too much in the face and the teeth, braying know-it-all-ism and generally irritating.  
There is a growingly bitter loneliness coupled with the feeling that unless life feels like a movie, full of excitement and emotion and laughter and color, your time is being wasted.   

(I took a shower at 9 and am chipper as hell now though.)

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