motivated.

Awaaake, why am I awake so early.  Up at 6 with heat and thirst, laid there worrying about myself, not in a "really worried" way but just a mostly worried way:

"Am I okay"

"Am I going to survive today"

"Did I do a stupid thing in public recently"

"Is it normal to drink yourself to oblivion to fall asleep every night"

"etc."

Formulating a plan, starting when I am done writing this:

Shower and dress.

Eat egg sandwich on sourdough english muff.  

Drink coffee.

Go downtown and deposit my check.

Buy books for Fall semester/pick up parking pass.

Maybe sit around campus and read a book/be terrified of all the douchebags who have come back.

Drop off laptop for keyboard replacement.

That's all I have; I work at stupid dumb job at 2.  Apparently I'm going to be training two middle-aged women who are replacing me.  What the FUCK, I was so angry when I was told this, being relatively competent at the job does not mean I'm fit or mentally prepared to train anyone.  After this weekend I'm completely done.  My boss was kind of begging me to stay on as "seasonal" and come back and work every once in awhile, but the more I think about it the more it seems pointless.  I made myself comfortable with it for the summer, but I need to get the hell out of that place.