we made it through january

just in time for the most romantic kind of romance

update:

today just before 3 at 9th &O there was a woman two men and a police officer standing in the middle of the intersection, just standing while traffic laced around and then the woman was screaming and her knees went out and they were grabbing her and dragging her to the curb and her shirt came up revealing a black bra and they carried her and sat her down and she rocked and heaved, and i have felt pretty weird since seeing this

peals

i mostly enjoy self-locomoting but lately every time i touch the wheel of my car i just want to drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive and drive

haven't seen all the stars in a long time
so full of this ache man
i'm bailing my vessel
as fast as it overflows
feeling like johnny cash
singing like a ghost
what darling are we gonna
what darling can we

today's spread

like butter

1. 3 of cups (me)
2. ace of swords (obstacle)
3. death (goal)
4. the magician (roots)
5. the hanged man (past)
6. 6 of wands (future)
7. 3 of swords (inner disposition)
8. 7 of wands (environmental influences)
9. judgement (hopes/fears)
10. the empress (final outcome)

i mostly don't believe in cards or
anything but also i do
or maybe myopic introspection
keeps the boredom at bay

blood is thumping up in my chest
i've grown a purr muscle

oh you're

still looking at
me cher got me
so wasted i'm
told i introduced
you six times
there are parts missing
where i came
across the street
and woke in my
bra lips partially purple
now i'll eat this slab of
deer while you sleep
watching quietly
and soon will do
ten push-ups and be
covered in tigers

vex a scout

muffle the skull perimeter
wind tight lace bandages
swallow your fingers

plow and rake a scape
cut you a hole in the sand
lean forth carefully and wail
and wail and wail and wait

you have reproduced by budding
spin an arrow on your palm to decide
where to send the fresh tiny new you

mantra

here comes the

boot

i have marked out in foot-prints
the square mile
i prowl daily
plotting how to best
attack passing cars
first show them my teeth
my teeth
and my      stride

i end slumped in
beds of
crumpled perennials

fitful
wondering/worrying
what noise i will make one
day when/if a sudden train horn
shreds my psyche

and i am crushed to my knees
and howl and
perhaps howl

and we're trying to
hide in this forest
we are born seeing
born without wisdom teeth
and are
modern medical miracles

i'm whispering secrets
into holes in trees
covering them with mud
and moss, desultory

fuck these trains are loud
who gave you that right
why didn't i get
what you got
i was given no weapons
i grew them with my chest

want to mohawk
my silky hair want to
grow it long and
devastate

i could get on one train
and/or another
i could pilot myself
to the ocean

sun sets in purg atory

let's self-vivisect
it's okay to be laughing

you poets
want to feed you pizza
in the alley
where golden cheese stretches
and never snaps

quickly do something
anything natural
so long as the current runs
bypass these piss channels
give me a splice

advice: watch out for january
january: shit girl

◕‿‿◕

[The Thief of Baghdad, 1924]

i am trying to be more beautiful

when i remember my friends
i am a giant
looming the room
my giant thumbs all over
giant eyes thumping into corners

my pigments bleed until
i fill this space

don't you dare
get your love
on me or i'll
dissolve and
respawn atomic

i did not ask for
this task of biblical frantic
info curation

these small acutely essential
endeavors

when i see you next
i'll realize that you're taller

jam time

       insert layer
visual interest
color
saturation
finely etched faces
filed with care
under ground          i woke
with dirt in my feel pits

behold, reticent timbre
taming and trying
to keep from getting so dang
crushed this month

look you probably
have nothing to fear
or you have pressing air drama
to tend to, you are
needed
in another galaxy
and chosen

i'll be walking
and the pigeons at dusk
billow in wild circuits
against pretty little lincoln's
red purple sky

all is and will be for ever
a knot or a
tutorial endlessly
redrafting

sometimes i go weeks without seeking out music to listen to because it makes me feel too much. 
right now i am feeling strong though i think. 

let's have a january jam