12/27

for the past couple days i've been sort of jogging to/from work, in a fit of missing the exercise from and swiftness of my bicycle.  there is still so much ice everywhere.  the running is kind of awkward in my work clothes with a jostling backpack but it's okay, it feels like i might be starting on some kind of quest.  too soon the flesh in my mittens is wet and there is a steamy halo spreading under my fur hat.

today on my way home i startled a hawk a few feet to my left.  it was first just a curt whoosh of air and a cloud of gray feathers, from the pigeon he'd been eating.  he landed nearby on the overpass and regarded me sternly before continuing to eat.  where he had been was a patch of bright red blood and yellow corn spilled undigested from the pigeon's gizzard. 

that's pretty much all that happened so far today besides staring at tumblr at work (and working some).  i guess we'll see what else happens. 

fermata to solstice & farther

do you remember how many moths there were last spring
someone said they blew up from down south
there's something off with the climate now
as we cruise gravity-less further from childhood;
last spring it was moths
and explosions of roses

my seasons are eating each other but not like
fish eat each other, in slippery gulps, more like
a lion eats his own cub

i have long found it
difficult to focus.

and everything
else is eaten by boredom.
i can steel my ribs well enough now
at least.

and i crumble now and then from
this lady body or
because of a typical dad-given unease
i don't know
do other dads give their kids eating disorders??

sometimes i can imagine
my spirit animal is a shark
when i put my black eyes in
smelling blood

bleeding like a stuck smiling
tell the world
i'm sorry it's so easy
to love me

because imitation
is no different from authentic
in the water

and it took/is taking me longer to learn
how a natural animal
should want to