approaching a big moon

feeling kind of i don't know
cocky or
invincible, but antsy
and cautious
the season is ripening
i bought a big map of the world
like i just went online and bought the
biggest one i could find

i've been spending too much time at work
watching the live feed of the hawk nest on top of the capitol
and now where-ever i am
it feels like my brain is perched up there
in the central skyspace with them
in the thin fast air
for awhile there the rest of me felt like i was kiting
and now i'm feeling a weird in-between mixture of
possibility vs. caution
i wonder how hard other people pay attention
if it's like being me at all

i feel deeply curious and impatient
fuckin gregarious
but annoying and offensive
letting dumb shit leap out of my mouth
late for/missing all the rsvps
able to lay in bed for hours more than i need to
spend lunch laying in the grass by the manse
or feet in the union fountain
daydreaming about hands
and soft smiling purrwords
and when i sleep the world is ending
and i'm shopping for chanterelles
and i wake up coming