chap chap chap

these are just ideas i need to put somewhere where i can stare at them for awhile that's not a word document i can't seem to be creative in those things anymore i just get panic-attack feelings that accompany beginning an assigned paper

between us there is

a screen which is

a cup which is

a chasm which is

a line which is

a twisted umbilical

of red and yellow wires

in our mouths we must

keep swallowing 

though the length

never lessens,

we are full up with

the casual persistence

of distance

(this is often mistaken

for a wound to suture)

this an animal

which sounds like

a child

Can you look at 

your grandfather 

without crying?

shiiiiiiiiiit

Shit.

mondee

This morning I woke up at 6:30 and was unable to

A) Go back to sleep.

B) Properly self-assess.

It was one of those awful twilighty hours where you're stuck in uneasy consciousness.  Your apartment is cold and your knees hurt, why do they hurt so bad, was it a childhood and adolescence of soccer, is there permanent old-person damage to the cartilage.  

Uninvited, social scenes from the past few days begin playing in your head.  In each of these scenes, your retrospective self is completely unlikeable.  She is too much in the face and the teeth, braying know-it-all-ism and generally irritating.  

There is a growingly bitter loneliness coupled with the feeling that unless life feels like a movie, full of excitement and emotion and laughter and color, your time is being wasted.   

(I took a shower at 9 and am chipper as hell now though.)

sleep and comics

Ray gets me, man.

Is it okay to write a dang blog entry this short... is it allowed?  I want to

get over here let me

entertain you

let me i am

so so so so

good

i slept

too long
i dreamed
in cinema
it's hard
to explain

sucking the venom

Still perhaps the sexiest thing a person can do to a person.

Highlights:

"You're hiking with a friend. The sun is shining, the birds are singing -- you're feeling one with nature. Then the unthinkable happens -- as you step over a tree log on the trail, a snake beneath it lurches out and sinks its fangs into your calf."

"'No way, man! Then we'll both die.'  Is he right? Or, is he just a big coward who should be crossed off your friend list?"

"Non-venomous snakes have round pupils. Venomous snakes have elliptical pupils, like a cat's."

"Of course, this information implies that you're supposed to bend over and peer into the creature's face, which wouldn't be very smart."

" the venomous coral snake and the harmless milk snake, or scarlet snake, look nearly identical, except for the order of their red, black and yellow bands. To tell the difference, children are taught the rhyme, 'Red touch black, venom lack. Red touch yellow, kill a fellow.'"

"You might be wondering how long it would take a venomous snakebite to kill you."

"Tip: If your snakebite kit contains instructions for making an incision on the wound, throw it away and buy a more current kit."

"Using a tourniquet can damage nerves and blood flow. True story: In Tennessee, a well-meaning passerby used a tourniquet to help a farmer who'd been bitten by a snake. When the farmer arrived at the hospital, his blood pressure was so low from the tourniquet around his arm that he was only minutes from death [source: UPI]."

"Be careful -- due to reflex, a snake can actually bite for up to an hour after it's dead."

window go home

Window Kitty won't go away.  S/he started visiting last week, coming by way of roof to my window to peer curiously inside and enrage my two cats, sweet and loving and dumb.  Window Kitty loves to be petted, and I am a sucker.  It seems like s/he has a home, not bony or very dirty.  S/he came back tonight and I said hello, gave him/her a treat, laughed at my cats' hissing and general worryworting through the screen.  Now Window's just sitting out there, occasionally staring in sadly at me.  I keep saying "Go home, Window."  S/he's laying right outside the screen right now, I can SEE YOUR EARS, GO ON, GIT.    

Today I went to the zoo.  It was wonderful.  

I have taken up the harmonica.   I will keep you updated on whether this mild obsession continues to fruition.   

Now I have to watch some crazy neo-western that stars Courtney Love.  If that bitch had an ounce'a'class I'd admire her spirit.  (She doesn't.)