the storms stay

dreaming of being in a childhood neighbors' house; brady and dani from middle school show choir are here looking at old video stills of us and laughing,

downstairs a real estate woman guides

a sophisticated gay couple on a tour

everywhere there is exquisite blown glass, vases, sculptures, fixtures

crowding in a mismatched liquid candy flock, a table is a giant white shallow bowl on a claw pedestal, swirled in carnival colors

transparent and opaque

the couple hems and haws

did you ever see a sky quite like

on the roof just now i saw someone watching me open my arms to the golden rain and animal clouds, in the old folks' building across the street, i saw them as i turned they darted to a more secluded window, that is the first rule of watching, no sudden shameful movements

anyway this storm says she'll scour you with science,

hots and colds and friction,

electric chrysanthemum blooms

vivo el mundo

someday when i am wealthy and have free time i will host lavish parties for world cup games and i will have a buffet of foods and boozes from each country playing. in the mean-time i will eat chips and salsa and cashews.

a man just strolled by my building singing a bizarre growling free-style jazz country tune, interspersed with angry grunts and full-body pauses to puff a smoke. i watched him for two blocks.

sometimes i realize that i look forward to some theoretical day where i will feel okay about how i feel in my body forever more, why do i feel like this day exists in the future, can it even, what am i doing so wrong

tuesday

some days this job thing from a place of pure social anxiety can make me feel

like firing a round in the ceiling and yelling hey, hey,

this terrible bitter game of other men's money you call a career,

i did never sign on to witness your quavery posturing, nor you mine

i wanted to write about how yoga lends to my ever-present sensation of being unnatural; i flex and bend in the proper ways and wonder how on earth a body could do this to me for so long and get away with it

mostly it's cool though i just got to vent shit like this once in awhile or the likelihood increases that i will accidentally call someone a "cunt" via telephone, fax, or email.

low back

both of these swim-suits are mine:

summer is going to be such a thing

someday i will go back to school and study film theory or ecology and evolutionary biology or

both

presently: work · play